Bridesmaid buys a $230 dress for sister-in-law's wedding, gets kicked out of the bridal party less than a month before the ceremony, then the bride has the audacity to demand she hand it over for free: ‘I bought that dress with MY money’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Oct 23, 2026 5:15 PM EDT

What happens when a bride kicks you out of her wedding party but still expects you to hand over the $230 dress you paid for? 

Is a wedding really without some bridal drama? I get it: we're all getting nervous as the big day approaches, and a bit of selfishness comes with the punches. What can we say? I've attended a lot of weddings, and I can always say there was some kind of drama, most of it about the bride and her bridesmaids. They either couldn't agree on a color, a shape, or how to line up for pictures. Needless to say, I know these stories well.

But what surprised me most was that the bride literally kicked out this bridesmaid less than a month before the wedding because her fiancé's sister wanted to be in. Why wasn't this discussed earlier? They could've avoided this whole problem if they'd talked about it before going dress shopping. The woman bought her own bridesmaid dress for a hefty $230, and it's not wrong for her to want the full amount back before donating it to the person taking her spot.

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  • A bride smiling alongside her bridesmaids in matching mauve dresses.
    via Unsplash+ (via 550Park Luxury Wedding Films)

    A bride smiling alongside her bridesmaids in matching mauve dresses.

    Models for explanatory purposes only.  

  • AITA for telling my SIL her new bridesmaid can have my dress once someone pays me for it?
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • So my sister-in-law took me out of her bridal party last Sunday, less than a month before her wedding, and now she wants my dress for the girl who's replacing me.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • She asked me to be a bridesmaid back in April and I said yes right away, we've always gotten along fine. In June the other girls and I went to the bridal shop together and I paid $230 for the dress, which is this burnt orange color because the wedding's Halloween weekend.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172

  • Also, being a bridesmaid isn't something cheap. There are a lot of things to pay for, especially the outfit. The dress, shoes, makeup and hair, and other things can easily cost a few hundred dollars. Most of them are happy to invest in the people they love, but they also want to be part of the celebration in that role. So, for this lady who got kicked out of the bridal party, demanding the money isn't a big deal. Besides, what was going to happen with the dress anyway? She wasn't going to use it, and having the new bridesmaid buy herself one was also dumb.

  • On Sunday she called and said she was "going in a different direction" with the bridal party. Her fiancé's sister wanted to be in it and they needed even numbers with the groomsmen for the pictures, so somebody had to go and apparently it was me. I was hurt but I told her okay, it's her wedding.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • Since the shop can't order another one in time and her fiancé's sister is "basically your size," she texted me Monday asking me to drop my dress off at her place this weekend because I "won't need it anymore anyway." I texted back that the new bridesmaid can have it once I'm paid back. I bought that dress with MY money for a spot I don't have anymore.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • She offered me $100 for it instead, because I'd "already gotten some use out of it" at the fittings. I've worn that dress exactly twice, both times standing on a little box while a lady pinned the hem.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • On Wednesday night her fiancé's sister messaged me herself and she was really sweet about it. She said nobody had told her I paid for the dress myself. She sent me the full $230 before I even answered, and she came by for the dress yesterday after work.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • Last night my SIL found out and texted me to send the $230 back to her fiancé's sister. She says she'll pay me herself "after the honeymoon."
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • A bride poses with her bridesmaids in pastel dresses, holding bouquets.
    via Unsplash+ (via Katelyn MacMillan)

    A bride poses with her bridesmaids in pastel dresses, holding bouquets.

    Image for illustrative purposes.

  • There're two more things that are important to talk about here. First, the difference between doing someone a favor and assuming people will do what you ask without hesitation. And this is also a bit of bride entitlement, if you ask me. The bride was demanding the old bridesmaid hand over the dress, which she wasn't going to use anyway. Even though her wedding is an important event and is a huge milestone for the family, pretending that she can do whatever she wants with her bridal party isn't considerate at all. The old bridesmaid bought the dress herself, with her own money, so asking her to pay her back isn't crazy. Second, the bride offered $100 because she used the dress twice? She had to try it on for fittings and other things. That doesn't count as using the dress. Is still brand new! Those try-ons don't diminish the item's value, especially not by $130.

  • Adorable_Sir503 standing on a box twice while someone pins your hem isnt getting use out of it lol. the new bridesmaid has more manners than the bride. NTA
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  • dainty_velvetx NTA. shell pay you afterthe honeymoon? lol youll never see that money. the fiancés sister already paid you, keep it
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  • Future-Collection-65 telling someone they wont need the dress anyway right after kicking them out of the wedding is wild. NTA, dont send a dime back
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  • DMargaretfootgoddess I'm sorry I would be telling her when you get back from this honeymoon send the money to your new sister- in-law. I'm not in this anymore. She bought the dress. If you want to pay for it that's up to you but pay her then not me. I'm done.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • julesk NTA I'd text her back "If you're now paying for bridesmaids dresses, you can pay her back. Thanks for the opportunity of not being in your bridal party."
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • heckfyre is her deal? You already worked it out. You told new bridesmaid about the cost of the dress and she paid you. End of story. NTA Your SIL's fiancé is also an idiot for not putting his sister in the wedding party to begin with. Again, ?
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • LissaBryan Your SIL is screaming something at you very loudly. She is willing to hurt you by kicking you out of the bridal party, but not willing to disappoint fiancé's sister by telling her she can't be in the bridal party.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • SeparateCzechs SIL has no place in the transaction. You sold the dress to fiancés sister. She paid you for it. Transaction complete. If she wants to pay fiancés sister she can do it at any time without involving you. It feels like this was a planned scam to me.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • Bawfur NTA. Your SIL booted ye oot the bridal party less than a month before the wedding because her fiancé's sister wanted a spot and they needed even numbers. That's her decision, but expecting ye tae swallow the cost of a $230 dress on top of being dropped is taking the absolute
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • Just-Introduction755 "On Sunday she called and said she was "going in a different direction” with the bridal party. Her fiancé's sister wanted to be in it and they needed even numbers with the groomsmen for the pictures, so somebody had to go and apparently it was me. I was hurt but I told her okay, it's her wedding. ".
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • ArtfulAlice I'm not sure your sister-in- law can be trusted to reimburse you even then. She can reimburse the fiance's sister. Weddings are stressful, but when people are under stress, they show you who they really are. Your sister-in-law has shown you who she really is. So, please, believe her.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • A bride and groom walk together as wedding guests shower them with confetti.
    via Unsplash+ (via Victoria Priessnitz)

    A bride and groom walk together as wedding guests shower them with confetti.

    Actor performance of story events.

  • t3jan0 this is all kinds of f ed. They couldnt have found another role for her without you getting the short end of the stick?
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • Status Valuable2136 No! So the fiancé's sister did the right thing, she might not have known that her request resulted in someone being let go from the bridal party. Your SIL sounds like someone to keep a distance from.
    via u/Green_Discussion_172
  • Top_Difficulty5399 Since joining Reddit I just realize more and more every day that there are WAY MORE crazies out there than I thought there was...one keeps thinking that people like this are a rare breed, but no. They're everywhere it seems!
    via u/Green_Discussion_172

  • I was relieved when I read that she got her money back. Thanks to the kind soul of the new bridesmaid, who saw that taking that dress for granted was not something nice, she got the full rembursment of the $230. The bride, who seems unable to drop the topic, is now telling her to return the money and promising to pay her back after the honeymoon. Please, let's just end the story here and enjoy the upcoming wedding. We have had enough dress drama.

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bride wedding drama bridesmaids bridesmaid dress sister in law wedding
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